


All I want for Christmas

by missing_fawkes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Bookstore Employee Castiel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Christmas, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, First Kiss, Happy Ending, M/M, Secret Santa, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missing_fawkes/pseuds/missing_fawkes
Summary: Only when they're in the parking lot by his baby, he slows down and glares at Charlie."You did this on purposes," he grits out and points an accusatory finger at her.She shakes her head and a mix of pity and amusement shines in her eyes."Of course I did, silly. You would've spent the rest of your life swooning over Cas and never made a move."In which Charlie rigs the Secret Santa, because she ships it.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107
Collections: Destiel Instagram One Shot/Art Contest - December 2019





	All I want for Christmas

"This is a bad idea," Dean grits out for what sure is not the first time today.  
Charlie next to him just rolls her eyes and fixes her elf hat with a grin that is entirely too pleased for his liking.

"Quit whining, it's gonna be so much fun! Besides, Castiel is going to be there so that's just one more reason for you to show up," she shoots him a knowing glance and Dean feels the heat rising to his cheeks.  
As much as he enjoys the prospect of seeing Charlie's way too handsome coworker, he's less than thrilled to be getting rigged into actually having to participate in whatever ridiculous holiday activities Charlie has in store for all of them, let alone having to talk to Castiel.

"That's a reason to not show up there! I will become a fumbling mess the moment he looks at me and I am actually scared for what happens if he tries to talk to me," Dean tries his best to look as miserable as possible, but unfortunately for him, Charlie is immune to his puppy dog eyes and drags him further along.

"It's called exposure therapy, Dean. This is for your own good," she states as she pushes him through the door into the bookstore she works in.  
"You just don't want to be alone at a work event," Dean murmurs out of the corner of his mouth, aware that their arrival hasn't gone unnoticed.

"That's not true," Charlie angrily whispers back and steps further into the store as if to prove her point, "I like my coworkers!"

Dean glances pointedly at Marv, who is currently chatting with Lisa, who doesn't quite succeed in hiding her ennui.

"Well, you know, most of them," Charlie says unbothered and grabs Dean's wrist, dragging him along.

"I still don't get why you're forcing me to be here. It's not even the actual party, so I am even more out of place than I would have been otherwise," he complains and looks around, expecting someone to object his presence. He kinda hopes for the excuse to leave. So far he has not seen Castiel, so if he gets away now, there could still be a chance of surviving the afternoon without making a fool of himself.

"You are not out of place,"Charlie contradicts with another eyeroll. "And you're the one making it awkward. You have covered so many shifts for every one of us, we'd be lost without you. Besides they love you, so quit looking like a dear in headlights."

He nods under her expectant look and tries to let the tension drain from his shoulders. It's not even a real Christmas party just a meet-up for Charlie to announce her annual holiday game, but somehow that makes the whole thing even weirder. No matter what Charlie says, it still doesn't feel right for him to be here. He's neither working full nor half-time and helping out here and there does not make him part of the tight-knit working family Charlie built up. However it would be even more awkward to leave now, especially since his best friend is making her way through the small crowd of her employees towards the counter. She climbs up on it without hesitation and beams at the people gathered around her.

"I'm so glad everybody took the time to be here! I've asked for all of you to come here, since for this year's Christmas game I decided to do something different. It's not a game per se, but I thought it would be fun to have some Secret Santas running around here," Charlie turns around to grab something from behind the counter that turns out to be a small bag. Cheers errupt from crowd and she smiles.

"In my hand I hold a bag with all of your names in it. Now before I hand you one randomely chosen paper with the name of the person whose Secret Santa you are, there are a few more information you need: It's up to you when and how you give your gift as long as you don't reveal yourself in doing so. The only rule is that you have to give something personal. Give something from the heart. It doesn't have to be handmade or anything, but it should be meaningful in some way. Now it's you choice whether you want to reveal who you are on Christmas Day or if you keep it secret as long as everyone gets their present."

"She really is a force of nature isn't she," rumbles a deep voice right next to Dean's ear and it takes all his will power to suppress the shiver running down his spine. Castiel is standing behind him and they are painfully close to each other. Considering who engrossed Dean has been in Charlie's speech, it's no wonder he hasn't noticed Cas's arrival, but now he can't stop thinking about how long he's been standing there.  
Belatedly he realizes that Cas is still waiting for an answer, so he clears his throat and smiles awkwardly.

"She's the best," he can't help the pride slipping into his words as he looks his best friend who is giving out papers to her employees, "The queen of a kingdom she created herself."  
And there it is: The moment of embarrassment that comes by itself every time he is in the proximity of the enigma that is Castiel.  
He is a sap at heart, but the world doesn't need to know that, especially not Castiel.  
But the man beside him just smiles softly and nods.

"It's amazing how much she achieved."

The two of them line up to receive their names in silence and Dean waits for the inevitable question of what the hell he's doing here to come up. He has worked with Castiel before, but that consisted mostly of him either getting caught staring or being incredibly clumsy and distracted. Dean sincerely does not want to know what Cas thinks of him, because however the man sees him, it can't be all that flattering.

"We haven't worked together in quite a while now," Castiel comments as if he's heard Dean's thoughts and he can feel the blush creeping up his cheeks. It's Christmas time so the shop is jam packed every day, but Dean has specifically asked Charlie not to pair him with Castiel whenever he worked. Cas is a great guy and if Dean wasn't crushing on him like there's no tomorrow, he would probably want to be this guy's friend just as desperately, which is the most secure way to behave like an idiot, try too hard and embarrass yourself.  
The guy is so far out of Dean's league, he lives in a different galaxy.  
Thankfully the end of the queue saves Dean from having to come up with an excuse and he mockingly bows before Charlie.

"My queen, I am here to humbly receive the name of whoever it is I have to make happy."

The bright grin on Charlie's face when she give him the paper, tells him that she's up to something and the moment he opens it, he knows why.

 _"Castiel"_ the paper reads in neat letters and Dean's heart leaps in his chest. This is both the best and worst thing that could have happened and once he's decided whether he should panic or celebrate, he'll give Charlie a piece of his mind about fixing what was supposed to be a procedure of _random_ selection.

Great. Just perfect. How on earth is he supposed to come up with a gift?  
He is aware of some of Castiel's likes and dislikes, but Charlie said they were supposed to gift something from the heart.  
Lost in thought again he nearly trips over his own feet moving away from the others.  
Cas is still behind him, so Dean folds the paper and puts it in his pocket.

It seems very clear now, why Charlie had been so insistent he'd come.  
He is going to talk to her about this. She knows how much he doesn't want to act on his crush and how uncomfortable this position is for him.  
Actually, now that he thinks about it, he's going to kill her for this.  
He waits next to the exit for he to finish up her speech, before he grabs her by the wrist and pulls her out of the shop, for once not caring what the others think of him.

Only when they're in the parking lot by his baby, he slows down and glares at Charlie.  
"You did this on purposes," he grits out and points an accusatory finger at her.  
She shakes her head and a mix of pity and amusement shines in her eyes.  
"Of course I did, silly. You would've spent the rest of your life swooning over Cas and never made a move."  
Her statement has Dean throwing his hands in the air with an exasperated huff.

"That's the point. I was never going to say a fucking word about it and you've forced me to give him a 'present from the heart', really? Did you set this whole thing up just for me to have a heart broken by a man way too good for me?!"  
He's getting louder and louder, but he's angry, so he doesn't care.  
"You had no right to make that decision for me."

Charlie shakes her head and sadness is evident in her expression.  
"Come on Dean, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? You can remain anonymous if you choose to. This simply forces you to deal with your feelings, it doesn't mean you have to act on them, in fact it might help you to get over them. Give him a part of yourself and let go of it or take a risk and reveal yourself and your feelings to him."  
She shrugs nonchalantly.  
"Or don't do either and just give him something thoughtful you think he'll like. It's Secret Santa not the end of the world and half the people here are going to give away mugs anyway, because they panic and don't have any idea for a personal gift."

Dean slowly exhales through his nose and lets his head fall back. He's looking up at the sky where tiny little snowflakes begin making their way down to him.  
It's beautiful and calming and he loves the feeling of early December when the year is coming to a close yet somehow has a feeling of endless wonder to it.  
He tries focussing on that, tries to free himself from his negative thoughts that are spiralling like the snowflakes above him, but he can't.  
This whole situation that's been forced upon him, how insignificant it may be in reality, feels like a huge weight on his chest.  
He knows it's stupid.  
Knows that his feelings make no sense and that even if he decides to pour his heart into the gift and Castiel rejects him, he'll live, but that doesn't make it less scary.  
He's not the type to develop feelings. In fact, he's never had a crush other than on Dr.Sexy and after years of one night stands, he had been convinced he was broken.  
Simply not capable of feeling anything beyond physical attraction.  
When Charlie first introduced him to Castiel, Dean was so smitten he flat out dropped the books he was supposed to arrange on the display tables in favor of holding out his hand to Castiel.  
Charlie had cracked up laughing, but Cas had smiled kindly and shook his hand, before helping him pick up the books even though his eyes had shone with amusement.  
Over the month they had worked together, Castiel had proven to be not only kind, but also intelligent, witty and surprisingly funny, even if that was often unintentionally.  
And Dean had been fine to admire him from afar whenever he was given the chance, but now interaction has been forced upon him and there is no way he isn't gonna screw this up somehow.

A small hand on his cheek brings him back to reality. Charlie is looking at him with a worried look.

"I am so sorry, Dean. I didn't realize how much this meant to you. You don't have to do this. I can be Cas's Santa and he'll never know what happened."

Dean shakes his head.

"It's fine Charlie. You couldn't have known I'd be such a baby about it. I'll come up with something, don't worry."

He knows Charlie is about to give him a speech about self-deprecation, so he pulls her into a hug and kisses the top of her head to shut her up in advance.

"See you," is all he says, before he's behind Baby's wheel and on his way.

He's got one week.  
One week to come up with a mind-blowing present that's gonna sweep Cas off his feet and somehow makes him forget about all of Dean's shortcomings for long enough to talk to him for longer the few short conversations at work.

What would Cas want?  
What would he like?

Over the course of the week, Dean is trying -and failing- to come up with an idea.  
He knows Cas likes bees and books and board games and the holidays.  
That's nothing personal though, nothing that comes from the heart.  
He knows Cas is interested in mythology and poetry, but Dean has no clue about either one of these topics.  
What could someone like Castiel probably want?  
Dean has never heard him share anything close to a wish.  
Not with him at least.  
Then again, why would Cas talk to him about that kind of thing?

_Give him a part of yourself and let go of it._

Cas has everything he wants and Dean has nothing to give but himself, so maybe he should take Charlie's advice and just do it.

_Take a risk._

What does he have to lose?  
His heart already belongs to Cas, he might as well tell him as much.

Words have never been his strong suit, but there are other ways to express yourself.  
And suddenly he knows exactly what he's going to give Cas.

It snows the day of the Christmas party. The world is covered in white and even though Dean's nerves are killing him, there's a lightheartedness to his surroundings that keeps him from completely freaking out.

His hands clutch the small gift in his hands as he's trying to talk himself into stepping through the door of the bookstore that seems like an insurmountable obstacle.

No way.  
He's not going in there.  
This was a terrible idea.  
It's for the best if he saves face and goes home, preferably to not leave it until the next year.

Dean turns around to make an exit and promptly crashes into someone who nearly knocks him of his feet.

Strong arms wrap around him to keep him from falling flat on his face and when he looks up his gaze is captivated by warm blue eyes that seem to stare directly into his soul.

"Cas," he breathes out in surprise and a blush creeps up his face as he hastily stumbles to his feet.  
"You weren't gonna bail, were you?," asks Castiel and maybe Dean is intoxicated by their proximity, but he sounds a little disappointed.  
"I ... uhh ... yeah kinda," he stutters with a crooked grin, unable to lie to Cas, "But now that you're here, we might as well get it over with."

Dean takes a steadying breath and before he can talk himself out of it hands the wrapped casket to Cas.

"I'm your Secret Santa," he says, busying himself with watching Cas's fingers carefully unpack his present, so he doesn't have to look him in the eye.

The mixtape is dark against the brightness of the snow and now that he's looking at his own scratchy handwriting it seems like a very childish idea.

"I don't know what got into me. I just figured since you kinda seem to have everything and Charlie said to gift a part of ourselves, I'd share my music with you."

He rubs the back of his neck and still doesn't look at Cas.

This is even more embarrassing than he thought it would be and Cas hasn't even said anything yet.  
When he can no longer stand the silence, he chances a glance up to Cas's face and his heart leaps, when Cas looks at him with a soft smile that jumpstarts his courage enough to blurt out the next words.

"I know, this is probably going to weird you out, but I kinda really like you, Cas."

"Well, I'm glad," Cas whispers overcoming what little distance is left between them,  
"Because I kinda really like you too."

It starts snowing seconds before their lips meet.


End file.
